A Week in Review

Monday
The UPs and Downs of living with a Satanist----
Well the first up is that.....mmmmm
okay scratch that. The downside to liveing with a self procalimed satanist/compulsive liar/ex-goth/niece of Goldfrapp are as follows

Spins Lies like a spider on crack would spin webs.
So heres a fun story. Its a long story and I am just going to cut to the chase.
Esther is a satanist. Sarah lives next door to her. they were friends. the flat was living in harmony. happiness and unison. until.....

Esther and Sarah were friends as far as any normal person could tell. They spent hours in the kitchen talking and exchanging stories. etc. they lived next door to eachother and made friends at the beginning of the year because they both didnt go out much. The only thing that really divided the friendship was the fact that Sarah was a devout-yet humble christian. Esther on the other hand loved to speak of her self-proclaimed devoition to satanic worship.
I kind of thought it was retarded so didnt think about it much- Despite everyone telling me that Esther is a crazy bitch and I am an idiot for giving her the time of day. I would say this all started simmering around last Thursday night. Esther had stayed up well past her bed-time with Adam and I and began telling us all kinds of things that made her look like a proper tool and were obvious blatant lies- here are some as follows-
-i lost my virginity at 12
-slept with 23 people since then
-had sex with one of my current professors
-frequent S&M clubs in central london.

thats great. Adam was like she is complete freak. and got away and went to bed. But then Esther had to confide in me how hurt she was that adam was making fun of her for what she had revealed to us. Then she began telling me that she couldnt stand being friends with Sarah anymore. She felt that she was being untrue to the church of satan by putting up with people poking fun at her. instead of having a jolly little banter with someone when they poke fun at her she thought screaming that them and punching them would be a more devout option. I was trying to listen to this and explain that sometimes you cant take things too serisouly and that she should stand up for herself but not in that way. then she went off again on sarah and said that she wants to just lash out at her and tell her just how she feels- by saying really horrible things and putting her down for being naive and not doing things like everyone else. What bothered her most is that Sarah is Christian and she couldt believe that she was friends with a Christian. I tried so hard to swallow all of this and not tell Esther off right then and there. I really should have. But it was late and i wanted her to shut-it so i could go to bed. So i was like-- no dont be mean to sarah, just make some more friends and spend less time with her.

so the weekend goes by.Sarah goes away on a christian retreat. Esther goes home as she does each weekend. I keep dwelling on this conversation. How am I friends with someone who thinks like this? I know I am a rude and callous bitch at times but it is never unsubstantial and I have so much compassion for people that most people would never imagine. Also,I couldnt imagine any of my friends ever saying anything like this. I was fundamentally bothered by acting like I was okay with the things Esther was telling me. She was confiding in me so i felt like i couldnt just turn my back on her. And I am usually rather invested into friendships. I wanted to be a good friend but then I had this feeling that I was being untrue to myself. And one of my guiding life principles is to first and foremost be true to myself and not take shit from anyone. But i concluded that I couldnt be friends with her anymore. Well I could be her friend but i had no reason to spend so much time with her and could not be her confidant any longer. It was too hard for me. So i began casually distancing myself.

Monday-Loring Hall G5A -Jerry Springer take 1.
Im at the library. Sarah texts me. Esther is being really angry towards me.
Shit- what do you want me todo?
Well no not like that Iw as just wondering if you knew why.
She said you offeneded her when you told her to turn off her blasphemous music this morning.
What? No i didnt ever say that. Weird.
Well she got angry because I called her out for being rude while you and your friend were in the kitchen.
Yeah she is being mean all day. I just dont know why.
So i say okay DONT TALK TO HER. just wait till Adam and I come back and we will all sort this out.

I already imagined her lashing out at sarah and didnt want this to happen. I knew if sarah talked to her that it would spark something. so i told her just stay put. Then I got back a few hours later. I hear esther screaming. Or crying. I dont know both. So i call adam and say get here now or im going to go and deal with this myself.
He says he will be ten minutes and not to do anything.
My temper was getting really out of control now.
Adam comes back and we are in the kitchen talking and i explain the situation with sarah and esther since we talked. Then sarah walks in she is shaking and has her things and said she is leaving to spennd the night at her friends.

oh my god. what happened. What did SHE DO?
apparently esther had been screaming through the wall at sarah things like
I cant live next to that christian bitch.
I want to burn all the churches
I want to watch her burn in hell
Screaming these things.
this is what i heard down the hall in my room.
when sarah says this i started walking towards the door and was serisouly going to slap Esther across the face. Adam stopped me. Me and him were sooooo pissed. We were ready to take all of her stuff and just through it outside and tell her to get the fuck out of our flat. So adam calls the Residence assistants.
one public safety guy comes up and two RA's. The public safetty guy is this huge black guy. like a body guard. we begin to explain the whole situation. Sarah is crying too hard and cant talk. Esther casually walks in and grabs a glass of water. she looks all confused. oh whats going on?
YOUR A FUCKING CUNNT THATS WHATS GOING ON. they told me not to talk anymore.
it turned into a full fledged jerry springer outbreak with the security guard telling me to calm down and shut the fuck up essentially. and then Esther begins to stage a panic attack. Adam laughs from how shocked he is. and I pretty much add to this by saying stop faking you asshole. and then she starts scratching herself,pulling her hair, breathing hard, saying I want my MOMMY. blahhh blahh.
im like shut up Esther. And then they make me and Adam leave.
Poor sarah was in complete shock. and went to stay with another friend in her flat. and so now Adam and are on a mission to get Esther moved out. I think she is a pathological liar which is something that I really dont understand. Like how lame is your life that you have to constantly make more and more shit up to feel okay about it.
I dunno. I dont get it.

Anyhow the rest of the week was quite good actually.
TUES
I went to a short film festival in Shoreditch. You might find yourself in this area if you are in your late 20s a young professional in an artistic field. Go out often to swanky bars and still do coke on a regular basis as an attempt at rejuvination. So there I was at shoreditch at a bar/restaurant which used to be a warehouse - a theme common for renovation of now hip places for locals to go. The short films were quite good actually. I liked that they were short cause i get bored easily. Also the whole thing was hosted by a midget. I think they thought it was quite clever for a short film festival. I would hate my life if i was only asked to host events where something short or little was part of the theme. I think he is one of those midgets that gets laid a lot though. still it was weird and I was kind of scared of him. Im sorry is that rude. because when he ran up on stage i didnt even notice and got scared.

This was Tuesday on...

Wednesday afternoon I was done with all my classes for the week and the weekend had began.
I went with a few people from the flat above mine to go to this club called Shunt. I had heard a lot about this venue lately. It is located in the Underground station for London Bridge. I would always see huge lines when I was in the station on weekends. Turns out this place has a new theme every few months. Like it is taken over by different groups for a few months and them completley changed. This theme was for the international mime festival. It was so totally unique/legit. Tons of weird shit. Like a haunted house that was a club/gallery. I loved it.


Afterwards people went their own ways to other clubs or home and me Freddie and Karen were like fuck it were not going home yet. So we went into Soho. It was a wednesday night which means CHEAPSKATES. fromer strip club now just dance club every night has student night with rediculously cheap drinks. Good times there. two creeper guys I saw last time I was there were there again- in the same spots. I shamelessly took a picture of one of them.
Then as cheapskates was dwindling down we decided that it was food time. we are in Chinatown and went to find some chinese yumsters. This guy comes up to us and tries to sell us crack or EX. Im like no dude we're good. Then Freddie for some reason decides to go even further and starts arguing with him. I cant remember exactly why. But he basically was walking down the street yelling- I can get more PUSSY than you could ever dream of!!! ---obviously. then we went into a nice sit down chinese restaurant. WASTED. the guy somehow comes in there like 20 minutes later. tells us not to piss him off and has to persuade the waiters to give him a table. We massacre our food. Freddie falls down the stairs while going to the bathroom. We fall asleep on the bus back-but make it home safe and sound.


Thursday-- uh I dont even remember what I did. oh yeah slept all fucking day and then ate indian food.

Friday-My friend Karen and I decide to go out. The americans she lives with are complete tool bags. Like serisouly give americans a bad rep. I pretty much laugh at them every time we are in the same proximity because they are so retarded. I tried being their friend but then realized the destruction of my personality that would occur by doing so was not worth it. anyhow they are all at the Hobgoblin. I dont know why but all the Americans love to go to the Hobgoblin. ITs like their sanctuary. Its nice and good for a pint- but not where I want to spend each weekend especially when London is at my disposal. Anyhow the flatmates are gone so me and Karen do some drinking. Her flatmate Julian invites us to go to a club in central where one of his friends is the DJ that night. I think it was called Life. I drank a very Russian quanity of vodka and the rest of the night was a blur. I do recall though that the club was ASian. Well japanese I think. Me and karen were among the few non-asian girls there. But asians know how to party and how to make insane techno mixes while showing projections of baby fetuses and such. And I kept stealing wasabi nuts from the bar. I was hungover for the entirety of the next day. Asian Invasion got me again.

Saturday- Again sleep all day. feel like a complete asshole for my lack of getting anything done. Me and Karen are worked from the night before so we decide to go to a movie in Central and avoid the party that is happening at the hobgoblin for fear of seeing alcohol/ the American beezies. We find a theatre in Soho and go see the Wrestler. Its sooo good! and fucking hilarious. Except for some gorey parts like when mickey rourke gets attacked with a staple gun in the ring. I really recommend it.

Sunday 2:52 pm-
Just woke up and am finishing this blog and decided how useless I will be today. I actually think I should just go to the Library and work on the presentation I have on Wednesday. I am horrible at presenting and this event should make from some blatantly awkward moments. But also Im deliberating going to a market or something because its actually quite nice out. Take that back its actually windy as shit---but still looks sunny. actually its like raining sideways. okay staying inside. I also woke up because I had a nightmare that Esther tried to attack me and bite me vampire style. Yikes.

Lucky for me Immigrants dont qualify as White Trash!!

I am doing a report on white trash for my postcolonialsim course. I am finding some really hilarious things in my research. But im also relizing that i thing ethnic slurs are the funniest things ever. I found an A-Z index of them online and couldnt stop laughing. I think people shouldnt get offended by these things. I am probably wrong in saying this. But thats what I think. And I am often reffered to as a Yank here in London and I find it hilarious.

oh it reminded me of last summer when I visited San Diego and we were at Chris's house and were playing scatagories but making up our own and we did Racial Slurs. That was the funniest time ever. Chris obviously won and that is why I love him dearly. Jeff used slurs from like hamurabi's code or the fucking rosetta stone. like Slurs that haven't been heard or used in like 10 million years. more confusing than offensive.

Another conclusion- I will only be friends with people if they allow me to use racial slurs in addressing them. Why else would i be friends with james/win the most racist award when we went camping. I wish I had some Arab friends because I really like the term Towel Head.

Why is pseudo-racism/biggotry so funny? any ideas?

A Proper Lesson on Cider

It is 1:17 Am. I have two classes tomorrow and i still havent done the reading for either. wonderful. I am still a master of procrastination.

I watched the Obama Innaguration today at the student union. I am missing such big parts of american history. I guess I watched it on tv like everyone else so its more or less the same thing. Actually the Goldsmiths students were really excited about the innaguration and tons of them showed up to watch it. It reminded me of when I was in Prague for the Election and only one bar was showing the election coverage and it was all full of Americans. I feel like an EX-Pat. For once i feel excited for the future of the US. My dad told me that when I first came to the airport in Ireland even before we landed in the US i said- Look there is lots of really nice toys here so we must be in America. This is pretty much still my idea of freedom.
nice stuff= freedom/liberty/justice

Next day--

So yesterday I went to pound a pint- why do i go its never a good idea. i just drink cider and feel full and boozey. Also Americans do not understand the concept of cider. It is in fact an alcoholic drink. not martinellis sparkling cider. There are in England many varieties of Cider as there is beer. Cider is stronger than Beer and tastes like sour apples not in a candy way. There is also white cider-which is even stronger and tastes basically like wine but is sold in 2 liter bottles and makes me vomit. Also one of the varieties of it is called Diamond White- named after a stripper im guessing.
But cider can also be made with pears. Here at Goldsmiths we have the tradition of Strongbow cider with Blackcurrent syrup in it. This mixture makes for a bright red drink that tastes like yummy candies and gets you fucked off your ass if taken in quickly enough. causes hiccups though. Mat seemed to really enjoy it when he was here. Girls who cant handle the taste of alcohol often drink this beverage. Mat CAN handle his booze so it doesnt apply to him.

Right okay so I met this girl named Christina who is Asian!! whoa weird coincidence. but she goes to Berkely for politics so i think the similiarities stop about there. except she likes to drink actually. I was going somewhere with this....cant remember.

I also really like British desserts its all pudding and mouse and whip cream with cake layered together. that is basically my idea of the best yumster ever!! everything pilled together!!!

oh right- so what I miss the most from the US- or rather the west coast.
PABST!!!!! what the fuck i miss that shit so much!!! I learned that amstel was the founder of pabst. coool.. but i have been drinking Stella a lot-i reallylike it. Also its stronger. I am thinking about going to Dublin- where i am determined to enjoy Guinness so far i think it tastes like moldy bread.
And MEXICAN FOOD!! I miss shitty= good mexican food soooo much. Taco Bell does not exist here. Mexicans do not exist here. I think I already mentioned this in another blog but my craving has yet to be satiated.
I expect burritos and pabst when i get back.
cheesy fiesta. maybe its better this way so my clothes dont have greasy bean stains on them that look like a pile of shit landed on me which inevitably happens when i eat burritos. the burritos poop on me!

Also I watched the film Eraserhead. I like David Lynch but everytime I see one of his films all I can think is -what the fuck dude??!!- like what is going on. why does the baby have to some freakish monster thing. parenting is hard enough in a gloomy world. If any of you are interested in being confused and perhaps uncomfortable i recommend:
Blue Velvet
Twin Peaks-Fire walk with me
Mullholland Drive
and finally.... Eraserhead

unless your James and your a sick fuck so you watch blue velvet like its your job. I used to recommend movies to my mom that James had told me about and she was under the impression that james only liked films about pedophilia. hahahahahahahahah.He was still welcome in our house. I could go on with more rascist comments but i will just stop now.

Well thats pretty much my life for now. Its wednesday afternoon and my weekend has officially begun. I am innagurating my weekend with a proper nap time.

I miss everyone!! EVERYONE!!

Sisterhood of the Traveling Filthy Santa Hat

I am so very bored!
So I was thinking how much longer do I have to be in this shit-hole. Justkidding I London is amazing but I am in New Cross and I miss all of my friends soo much. I need to keep busy- good thing i can blog. wow my life sucks.
So i wanted to make a countdown clock widget for my screen so i can think how long each day is. so first off 68 days till i get back. I missed the 69 point. that should have been a celebration. Lets see and as i was looking at the countdown things people had designed i noticed some people are even more pathetic than I am- someone made a countdown until the new chronicles of narnia movie comes out. a specific program designed just for this very purpose. I feel better knowing that my countdown is when I have a restored social life. whearas a countdown to Prince Caspian coming out is like a countdown to when your life will become even more pathetic.

i went to a vintage store with esther that had a sale where you buy a bag and put everything in it that you can and all you pay for is the size of the bag. at the end we filled it up quite well but there was still some room left so i put in the most disgusting thing there that was a santa hat that covered in sparkles and made of pure polyester. it was dirty on the white part and had plastic stars sewn onto it. This was probably worn by a stripper in a sexy santa costume. So i think i can put it to pretty good use. I told esther that it could be like our friendship token. A sisterhood of the traveling filthy santa hat.
The store was in Brick Lane- this is a nice area. it is quite post-industrial I feel like oliver twist probably lived somewhere around that area. And I think that Jack the Ripper found most his victims in this area. its kind of been made into some hip place but not quite it still has all of its shitty dirty appeal to it. and has also become overrun by people from India. So its hip and diverse! I was impressed. Still more places in London that i have yet to discover. This blows my mind. I am currently composing a list.

When Mat was here and we were looking for a place to go in central london one night we kept getting harassed to go to this place called Zoo BAr. or maybe it was when i was with elisabeth. its a blur . but it is known for being disgusting. well trashy i guess its better way to put it. I never imagined myself going in there. But i went along with adam and his friends and his friends girlfriend Freddie who i met a few days prior at the student union. We bonded as friends because she squeeled with delight that I went to school in seattle- not because of kurt kobain- but because of Fraiser.
Anyhow we ended up in leicster square at zoo bar because they let us in for free- it was like a wednesday though so its not like we got a super sweet deal.
I was super drunk and dont remember much. just that adam doesnt let me dance with rapists. I cant talk shit on him in my blog since he knows the address for it. I will just save that for another time.

anyhow zoo bar was gross- i hate clubs. where are all the normal people??
i went back alone because i got confused and crossed the street when they all went to burger king. and didnt want to bother finding them again. so i just took a bus home. so this is becoming too common of an occurance for me. I fell asleep on the bus- missed my stop and ended up in Peckham Bus Garage at like 3 am. LEts just say you dont want to be there once the sun sets. And then had to take another bus to get home and still got off at the wrong stop. i somehow should have been raped by now or need to learn my lesson.


oh and my friend jess did ketamine- ho tranq. thiss week so i had to take care of her earlier this week. im pissed about it because i know she wouldnt do shit for me. things like this make having friends far away so hard. because at home i wouldnt be taking care of this skanky bitch i would be making fun of her when she fell over while trying to be sexy so that the bouncer could let her in.
I have decided to stay clear of her for the rest of my time here.
I hope people still read this shit because otherwise im jjust talking to myself and then i might as well just get a prince caspian countdown clock.

more updates

New Cross= current home



Paul is moving out.He is currently in the process. Though we are not being civil to one another I think it is for the best. His first step was to take his disgusting George Foreman grill dripping with grease and steak bits and move it to the flat next door. according to Adam they dont want him in their either. Well dont really care. I wonder if we will get a new person and how soon. This is exciting. I met the girl who just moved in to the room next door. she is also studying Art History. She was wearin Dr. Martins with semi-flared jeans. I really try not to judge people. I had those same shoes circa 1996. I will forgive her for these small things- but she still has to prove herself AKA get wasted and make a fool of herself. This really brings people together.

I have started this quarter on an optimistic note. I am trying my best to make more friends. Last term I was mostly with Americans Beth and Katie- who I already miss very much. They were my age and werent freshman so we had much in common. Oh and they like to drink.

I have decided that guys are just shit friends and you have to accept it. Like they are really fun and good to spend time with but will ultimatly not be there like a girl friend would. I am accepting this. Adam told me I apparently yell when its loud. Correction- when im drunk.
so he kept telling me to stop talking whenever one of his rugby friends would ask me a question. Im sorry but im sure they would rape me in two seconds so if I want to yell and be awkward I think I have a right.

I am starting 2 new classes. Goldsmiths is really organized. I dont even know when one of the classes meets or where the classroom is. Additionally I think it conflicts with another one of my classes so I might not even be able to take it. Wonderful- well done Goldsmiths.
Its okay I love this school anyhow. If I could just somehow move it to Seattle or just have it switch places with SU that would be perfect. Too bad I have people I care about back in Seattle/the USA so I cant really stay here.

oh and I am qucikly running myself into debt. Yaaay! Spending well into my student loan before I have even received it. In response to this and my high demand for booze. I have worked out a diet for myself until I come back. it involves pasta, salami sandwiches and yogurt. supplemented by beer.

My Grandma is in the hospital for a broken hip. I am so sad about this. I am not even very close with my grandma but I love her so much-I just dont know how to show it. Its really hard being all the way over here not knowing whats going on and all that. I hate it the most. If anything bad happens to my family I cant just fly back. Ugh I hate thinking about it.
Jeff also is in the hospital. This makes it even worse. Already worrying about my Grandma and then I get a message from Jeff saying he is going to the ER. He had to wait at Harborview for hours and those assholes wouldnt treat him. I was getting so frustrated on the phone with him because I couldnt be there and I knew that if I was I would have told him hours earlier that they need to get their shit together or that he would go somewhere else. Of course the health center wont do shit and recommends harborview. note- never listen to the health center. So I told jeff to go to Swedish where emergencies are treated as such. And the latest I heard he went there and is getting treated. I dont like being far awaaay because I would take charge and take care of Jeff and stick it to harborview. fuckers.

im also really glad to hear the our president at Seattle University --Sandbags as I lovingly call him has been charged in a case involving like 50 accounts of child molestation. Some people dont believe me when I say I can predict things about the future. not in like a psychic way but using my own intuition about things. And I totally saw it coming! Im not even kidding. I was just waiting for something to be revealed about him.
I usually just predict negative things. I have a cynical intuition. Like I KNEW 100% that Jackie would come back to SU from UCLA even before she left. But didnt say anything because at the time it would have been considered negative- but now its positive and im so happy shes back. But i knew it! so heres what im really saying everyone should always listen to ME and if I say someones a pedophiliac pervert then its true!
okay good.

Now Heres some PICS that are totally random and have no sequence

Mat pole dance with a straight up BEEZIE.



New Cross



Sangria!! in spain


Ansterdam- Rijksmuseum


New Years Eve in Madrid


Baby in a bar!!!


A nice replica of Velázquez' classic painting



Elisabeth and Luke!

Baby in a Bar

Back in New Cross. Hungover. Just burped it tastes like Chik Chicken. The most disgusting fast food in New Cross. Met the new Americans. Rewind- Went to Spain with my fam. Conclusion Madrid is nice but also a shithole. Barcalona RULES. But more importantly last night there was a baby at the bar we went to. I said I wouldnt leave the bar until the baby told me to. There was also a new american that looked like a proper FAGatron. long hair white jeans. I was going to ask if he was the surrogate child or one of the members of the strokes. Oh and apparently I have a problem with pointing.

Come to realize that I missed my little flat. I didnt miss Pauls hideous pop punk on repeat. but i missed all the others and it was nice to see them again. Tovah was replaced with another American Girl. I am counting down till Adam bones her/her friends. I havent met her yet actually. I will probably just call her Tovah despite what her name is. Esther- I missed her and our shared racist antics. She is far more relaxed now as well and might actually go out one of these nights and not be so anti-social.

When I got back from Spain there was a small flyer slipped under my door that said JESUS on it. the flyer was rather well designed with some daisys and snow flakes on the front.
in an oddly spaced paragraph it read-
Hope of the nation
Truth in each circumstance
he is the source of
heaven's light on earth.

Im not even sure what these haiku like phrases mean but I am definatly putting it in one of my collages. Sarah said that during the week someone knocked on the door. She answered and
they asked are you a fellow believer? she said yes and then they hugged her.
This seemed odd to even sarah. then they distributed these flyers to each of our doors.

more about Spain and such later/ pics of the baby in the bar. Going back to bed.