"BYE BYE BYE" - N'Sync

London life has come to an end.

This is my last post that i wrote in the airport until my computer died while waiting for my flight in minneapolis.

I might start a new blog for all the misadventure that Seattle College life entails.

Sad to be gone but glad to be back.

Actually i think i need to add one more blog post soon about the rest of the going away party and harassing esther.

Back home in USA for the first time in over six months.

First stop BK lounge.

I basically owe Adam my life for helping me get to the airport. Not to mention the 3 overweight pieces of luggage that I brought home with me. I had to buy an extra suitcase- so I went to Primark and bought the most disgusting/cheapest suitcase. It is cow-print so embarrassing at the baggage claim. So not only did I have 3 bags- only being allowed 2 but they were ALL over the weight limit. I packed so much shit that I didn’t need which should not be surprising to anybody.

Last nights going away party in G-block was pretty fun. Really chilled out. I don’t know if this is because everyone was going insane at Club Sandwich as it was the last one of the term.

I think I am having a streak of bad luck. I went a long time without loosing my phone, wallet, keys and so forth. At sandwich on Wednesday I was wearing a dress with big pockets which I wore intentionally so as to avoid bringing a purse which I hate doing. And then Maja decided that it was an awesome idea to grab me and drag me by force to the very center of the dance floor. By them time I got out of the sweat mess of rugby players and American $lutz I realized that my wallet and phone were no longer in my pockets. i w as pissed and ranaround shoving through people grinding on eachother to try and find my things. Karen ended up recovering my wallet from the security guards. Everything in tact minus the 50 pounds I had remaining for the rest of the trip. And my phone was never found. Why does this always happen to me???? And also my camera broke and I cant find the fucking receipt so they wouldn’t accept the warranty. And I also cant find my US sim card. Everything is falling into some black hole never to be recovered again. But don’t worry I have about 50 pounds of shoes and 100 pounds of retarded trinkets that I have collected during my time in London. Iclaimed that I had 1000 dollars worth of items in my luggage. And then I couldn’t explain their worth to thecustoms officer. It was awkward. She was like what do you have to claim?

Uhm nothing really

What you mean nothing- you wrote 1000 dollars of items here

Well yeah but it’s just like stuff.

What am I supposed to say yes I have approximately 300 dollars worth of shit that I bought at Brick Lane- including some retarded ugly doll keychain things that I couldn’t stop buying. So I just said clothes and books and she looked at me like I was retarded. Well I am so its cool.

I am not really sure how I feel about anything at this point. Saying good-bye to everyone was really a massive bummer. I didn’t want to and still haven’t let it settle in that I will not see most those people for a long time if ever at all. Everyone promised to come to America or demanded that I come back and visit.

We started the going away party in our kitchen and about 10 minutes into it Esther had already called security. So I was like yeah ok I wonder who made that complaint. So eventually we turned the music back up- and yet again the security came. The music was not even remotely loud. And then I went to her door and knocked on it. and she being the humongous coward that she is wouldn’t open the door. So I said I was going to poop on her baking tray. I am not sure if it was the knocking or this but she called security yet again. How do they still put up with her shit- beats me. So we went up to the top-flat where she couldn’t hear any sounds of social interaction which apparently really busts her balls to have to listen to. She is probably the most despicable person I have ever met. So I taped up her cupboard anhd put a shit ton of garlic into the tape pieces. And sprinkled garlic granules below her cupboard and wrote BYE! In them. We will see how she retaliates. I told Adam to not take any blame and say it was all me. She is such a cunt. When you act like that you have to expect that people are going to do shit like that to you.

I feel bad that Adam still has to live with her.

Also our other flatmate Veronica was probably the most drunk by far out of anyone at the party. She kept repeating the same things to me like 10 times. And then she went to the bathroom where she fell on her face and was bleeding all over the fucking place. Funnily enough Kate did the exact same thing the night before. I wonder who it will happen to next. I didn’t see veronica but Adam said it looked like she got Chris Browned- enough said.

So she had a good time.

And then I had to go to the airport after staying up all night. This helped the 9 hour flight go by pretty quick. I also realized I left a huge tube of posters in the office when I was waiting for the Taxi.

It Tuesday evening!
whooooaaaaaaah im leaving on Friday!
i have to keeep reminding myself about how fucking whack that is.
Thursday having a going away party/adam's birthday party.
should be a fun time. the theme is that the people have to dress up like other people that live in G block- the building im in.

So I had a freaking awesome weekend as it was my last one in London and I wasnt in Berlin as I was supposed to be.
Went to Fabric on Saturday and had a great time. and then got home past six got a bagle from possilbly the most ghetto bagel shop in the world which served jerk chicken inside a bagel and 6 Am and was busteling with luscious ladies and some rather interesting men who were in dire need of sustanence like me. and then woke up around 3 and went to brick lane and started drinking again by about 6pm at Club 1001 in shoreditch. it is pretty fun there. and then went to camden to see Afrikan boy and that was fucking great. all in all a good day.

upon some encounters i realized that spending your life trying to be the coolest fucking kid is a massive waste of time and makes you focus on so much shit that does not even matter. I just wanted to say chill the fuck out man just be a fucking human not some indie robot programmed to spew out refrences to shit.

Im also turning my room into a better version of FABRIC- body sonic dance floor. Me and Gloria have already booked digitalism and benni benassi for next month.

oh man oh man pound a pint 2 niiite!!!!!!
hahah im not actually that excited. i just felt like acting that i was.

anyhow coming home is crazy. i cant imagine it really. im just going to get there and be like shit now what. and then ill make jeff do all of it. unpack, find a job - live my life and so forth.

I love london so much but i havent been spending my last days running around taking pictures of big ben and buckingham palace. But i feel that i have spend sufficient amounts of time doing this.

and i cant believe how soon im coming home
i really honestly dont believe it. i guess i only take things as they happen. so i probably wont realize it until i land in seattle.

last club sandwich tonight. how sad
not

On account of doing work my life has been slightly more sober and thus there is less antics to write about. But some nice things have happened over the past few weeks- aside from me sitting in the library all the fucking time to try and finish papers.
i am keeping a progress chart.
i have a total of 4 classes- i have turned in my finals for 2 of those classes!
but then still have presentation tomorrow and 2 papers for post-colonialism class
and one for patterns of perception. I have 8,850 words done out of 15,500.

I went to oxford two weekends ago- it was nice and rainy and cold. but lots of diverse architecture and academic style buildings. Its nice to see a bit of the british countryside towns. My second expereiecne was the past weekend when I went with my friend freddie to her home in ryegate. I really enjoy Freddie's company as she is the kind of girl that i can spend lots of time with and not feel annoyed. she is smart yet silly. a good combo. and likes boozin. even better. so she showed me around ryegate a cute little town with a fairly stable population of suburban families and soccer mom style things. a family friendly area with a history and a castle. I shared freddies huge bed with her- which she took up about 99% percent of and sprawled out her legs and arms and kept hitting me in the face and taking the blanket. it was funny- but not when i was desperate to sleep. Her mom was really sweet and told me about the history of ryegate and such. Also FatBoy Slim apparently came from ryegate but got the hell out. But Freddies mom knew him. so thats coool. The next day we went to brighton- which is on the southern coast of england. It is a really cool city. its quite populated. also holding the biggest gay population of the UK. it was indeed colorful- and lots of interesting people. lots of sweet antique shops and boutiques. plus a boardwalk and beach. me and freddie sat on the rocks by the beach and played- hit the big rock with the little rock. this was fun. then we headed back to London.

I realize that Im going to miss friends I have made here.
Me and Adam are quite close and I feel like he is my brother. we argue like siblings and i want to punch him sometimes like i did my sister when we were younger and lived together.

On sunday paid my last visit to Brick Lane and explored some of the over-priced market goodies. Im going to miss that place. While I was there I ran into Mr. Wes Statler from seattle. I was a bit disorientated at first- it is odd seeing people from home in the framework of the london setting. its like worlds colliding. but it was nice to see a familiar face and compare our experience.

so today is st.patricks day. The brits dont really like the Irish so there is not too much hooplah about the whole thing. but being an american i feel inclined to celebrate.

I realize this blog is pretty much boring. But i just wanted to post a few updates.
I will be back in Seattle in 10 days. i get anxious thinking about it.
Who is going to help me pack!!!!!!! packing is the bane of my existence. Every single time i have moved from one place to another someone has helped me in my state of hypervenalitive frenzy and organized my packing. but now i dont think I could recruit anyone as easily. adam is useless. ahhhhhhh

MOONCUP!!!! finally a menstrual cup i can re-use.

I have been camping out in the library on account of having to finish 13,000 words of essays by the end of next week. I thought i would take a blog break. cheaper than a food break.
But also felt the need to document something i saw.

In every stall of the girls bathrooms there is a sticker advertising the "moon-cup"
Never heard of this before. Did i miss the the mooncup craze? It is the ultimate thing for filty globally concerned women.
according to the ad - mooncup is a re-usable menstrual cup.
key word there RE-usable.
menstrual and re-usable should not be in the same category.
why not just get a rag like they did 100 years ago and wash it each time with your bare hands. i mean thats re-usable.

apparently moon-cups advantages are 3-fold it is-
cleaner (i doubt it)
greener
and something else-er

I am stationed across the street from go-sing. the really blatantly illegal chinese food place that looks more like an office- a really dingy office. with menus taped onto the walls- and some parts hand-written. the food is disgusting but get dragged there by adam sometimes and then have a heart attack from the heapfulls of MSG they clearly put in their food. BUT there is one advantage the woman who works at the front is so fucking cute. she is classic old asian and wears a baseball cap and calls everyone darling. so i can sit and stare at her out the window. i want to have a cute little asian living with me.... in the garage- which will be transformed into take out restaurant.


okay back to werrrrrkin.

Bitch, Im Magic

My time here has reached a climax!
More like my life has reached its highest point.

Last night I went with my friends Freddie, James and Adam to this place called Gaz's in Soho. It is supposed to be along the lines of a divey rock club. but it is now the divey kind of place that is now really hip and packed full of hipsters and so on. we had to wait in line for like an hour to get in and then paid 9 pounds at the door. which is more than i have paid i think to get in anywhere since coming here. especially for a thursday night. It was a pretty cool place and the people were aight. but waay too overcrowded. anyhow me and adam were kinda not enthused about the whole thing. and i was expecing blues or rock band to play and when we went to dance in the other room i realized it was all reggae shit with a guy playing the sax. that does not = blues. and I find reggae the MOST boring music to dance to. its like the same beat over and over and over again. me and adam joked that "oh hey didnt they play this one" oh yeah they have been playing this one for the past 3 hours. so i went outside for a bit. me and adam were outside and then adam spots EMMA WATSON going into the place. i was like , WAIT WHAT! HERMIONE!!!! WHERE OH SHIT WHAT THE FUCK I NEED TO GO TAKE A MILLION PICS OF HER LETS GO. obviously i was overly excited. But i realized it was her and needed to go find her in this divey hipster messss. so we make a plan and i get my camera ready. we walk down the stairs. i try to spot her. clearly this is not Hermiones scene because she looks bored with her posse and starts to head out. so as she walks past us on the stairs I almost tripped her just for a pic. but no i hadnt been drinking enough for this kind of behaviour. so me and adam go outside yet again to see what shes doing. she is standing up against the back wall of theplace slightly out of sight. and im like shit- shes getting away i need a pic. i want to just go up to her. i try to convince adam to seduce her. not in enough time. some other fiends ran to her for an autograph and then she gets in a cab. she looked really pissed off and she passes us in the cab and she has a look of dusgust on her face adam had to ask--- "did you see just then- she was checking me out wasnt she? she totally was."
hahahaha. then we decided the night had reached its peak and it was time to go home so we got hot doggies and took the bus back.


Here is the pic


I dont know if you cant quite make out whats happening in this pic so here is a close up-





I feel accomplished now that I have spotted a celebrity in London.
I dont know if seeing princess beatrice around campus counts because no one in the US has any idea who she is.

aight well im going to try to do something with my time now---probs sleep.

so McCited I cant McHide it

out of bed before 1!!! and i dont have class! this is epic.
I went to all of my classes this week.
I got some work done. though it really should have been more. I havent been able to go do much in London during the day because i usually have to do work on my final things. here is what i have to finish by the 20th--more like 19th when i leave for Berlin:

3,000 word essay for media course
3,000 words essay for museums course
5,000 word essay for patterns of perception class
2,500 word essay post-colonialism class
2,500 word research file " "

at the rate i work- im pretty much not leaving campus for the duration of my time here. shit fuck. i just need more London adventures before i leave.
I still havent seen:
Changing of the guards/ taken a pic with a guard
platform 9 3/4 @ kings cross
gone on the London Eye (15 pounds yikesss!)
Greenwich Market
a number of galleries and museums
Oxford
Brighton
Bath

Actually I think that I am going to go to Oxford on Sunday. And next weekend my friend Freddie invited me to come stay at her house in Roegate for the weekend and then go to Brighton from there. should be nice to see some of the different areas.

im having a going away party in our flat and the theme is to dress up like someone that lives in our building. adam already tried on my clothes- there are some facebook pics. and then i guess i will be him -which means either plaid shirt and jeans. but better yet his rugby uniform. which is probably gross and sweaty so maybe not.
or i could be esther which would take a lot of work.

oh i just remembered. i mentioned how last week i got in an arguement with a bouncer at the amersham and they made me leave wouldnt let me in, were assholes to me and so on. well there was one bouncer there who was really nice to me and said he knows me from the student union and tried to get me in but the nigerian bouncer or Bernie Mac as me and Karen call him was being a cock. He does look like Bernie Mac (R.I.P) haha. anyhow the nice bouncer was at the student union last night. and after drinking at the Hobgoblin Freddie dragged me and Maja to club sandwich- which was shit as usual. but the nice bouncer recognized me and i said oh hi sorry about the other night. and he told the person selling tickets that i didnt have to pay. he was so nice. it made me happy. he's a nice guy- thats how bouncers should be not Bernie Mac or Drunk Eastern European cockbags.

I've Been listening to the Rolling Stones a lot lately. I like it because they mention London a lot if you pay attention. The only thing that the beatles should have done more of.

I was going to mention something else but forgot. hmmmmmm
oh yeah. I had a dream that I thought was funny. For some reason we had to have P.E. at SeattleU and it was basically like high school but with everyone from our university.We were playing soccer i think and I was standing in the field by the goaly reading a book about andy warhol and kind of attempting to kick the ball if it got near me. and then another art history student was walking around picking up garbage saying " everytime we play sports all i want to do is just clean up the place". and then our teacher yelled at us because we were not sweaty enough.This is such a retarded dream but i found it really funny.


Ill be home in 22 days!!!!
I'm McCited.

My Days are Numbered.

Thurs
Yesterday went to club sandwich. always a stupid pastime. but sometimes you just need to get drunk and be able to be stupid and not care. Adam was Krumping again and I joined in a bit. except that I kept spilling my drink as a result. Also they were giving out free condoms for whatever reason. they were all flavored as well- or rather flavoured.
i tried my best to steal awhole box of them because i thought it would be funny. and i could play lots of pranks. but then i gave up because i think they noticed me lingering around them like a big creep.

Friday-
Today I woke up before noon. An accomplishment. so i have a whole day to do what i want. it is relatively nice outside. the weather has been warming up significantly which is awesome. So im thinking of going into central to look at some art and shit. and then maybe doing some work int he library followed by drunk times.
Later-
AHhhhhhh LondonI love you forever!!
Today was a beautiful sunny day. I wanted to just take all of london and put it in my pocket and have it forever! I rode the bus to Southbank.
Went to the Hayward Gallery. There was a cool exhibit curated by mark wallinger. I was impressed with it. then I walked along the riverside towards the tate modern. tons of people were out and about enjoying the prefect weather. i was in heaven. i was having the gayest moment ever just taking in all of London. London is where my heart is at forever. I definatly see myself coming back here. i wanted to cry because it was so beautiful and full of life and people and ahhh it was so great.then i went to the tate for a while. The tate modern is a symbol of my Love for London. it is like my haven where i can just spend hours. I took a million pictures my finger was basically glued to the cameras clicker. gayest moment of my life.
came home and made din and so forth. met up with some friends for pregaming times. and then we went to Whipit! there is this big cockbag bouncer who i hate and he always give people shit for not having id when no one else ever cares about that shit. and i also saw him being a bouncer at burger king in central. and he gave abi a hard time for not having id and gloria as well an another friend. but all those times i was able to get around him. i think he thinks he is like the terminator of bouncers. he takes it so seriously. anyhow i tried to go around him. and he said i was too drunk and couldnt get in. and then they wouldnt let me in. i wasnt even that drunk i didnt look super fucked either. plus that bouncer is drunk everytime he is working. i hate him. i was sooooooo angry. the fucking boss bouncer was like yeah you cant come in tonight. i was soooo mad. adam of course had to be my babysitter and walk me home and tell me to calm down. and it sucked i have a limited amount of weekends here. and that eastern european piece of shit ruined it. i yelled for him to go back to bosnia-herzogovina.
hahaha. people were offeneded.
but on the bright side tonight i am going to a prohibition party. it is quite a big and elaborate event. i think it will be really cool. you have to dress up and not just in a half-ass way. it should be a time warp. going to take lots of pics. i cant do hair so it should be interesting i have some feathers and a headband. we shall see what happens.

im coming home so soon. im going to make sure everyone knows that im leaving soon so that they stop and think about me for the next month. hahaha. not really- but adam and i are going to host a flat party before i depart.

sarah the uber christian hypochondriac thinks she had mumps. well actually she told us she has mumps- but had the vaccine for it and hadnt taken the test for it yet. so at first i was like YIKESSS im running away dont give me that shit. but then i realized she always thinks she has the most absurd sicknesses. we received an email about 2 people in dorms having mumps. i speculate sarah read that and just assumed she had it. i actually just sent her an email asking if she actually got tested or thinks that she has it. she is such a strange person. she thought that gravy in our kitchen leftover from thanksgiving gave her asthma. i dont think thats even possible. self diagnosed asthma---from gravy. i dont understand.